your ideal self shows up two ways…

everybody has a mental picture of their ideal self.  it’s what you really think you want to be or what you’d like everybody else to think you are.  your ideal self shows up two ways:  one, when you’re filling out a job application.  two, on your first date. you’re always trying to impress people with what you think, you think everybody wants you to be.  but it’s not really you. 

the problem is, your real self and your ideal self never really match.  they start warring with each other in your life and you get under a burden. 

nobody likes a nag.  everybody feels like nags are a bother in life but our worst nag lives inside our skins.  we subject ourselves to a relentless self judgment program.  we remind ourselves of all the past failures and how we blew it.  we criticize our present actions.  we pressure ourselves about the future.  we’re always telling ourselves how we’ve blown it.  “you’ll never change.”  that’s perfectionism.  that’s the burden of trying to gain GOD’s approval by being perfect. 

GOD says, “that’s not the way I intend you to live.”  paul says, “don't be under the burden of slavery.  don’t go back and try to prove your worth by the law.”

just a thought from the front porch…  

misconception of GOD…

check this out.  perfectionism destroys your happiness.  

you have the constant feeling that you never quite measure up.  you go through life giving life your best shot and always coming up short and always feeling like, no matter how hard you try, your best is not good enough and you feel like a failure.  that’s depressing, discouraging.  you start thinking, “what's the use?”  it’s frustrating.  “why do i even try?  if GOD demands that i be perfect, why even try?”

this is why most people avoid GOD because of their misconception of GOD.  paul says, it’s for freedom that CHRIST has set us free.  HE sets you free, not loads you down.  stand firm then and don’t let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of bondage. 

just a thought from the front porch…

GOD's approval by our actions…

when you look at somebody who’s a perfectionist, it looks like a pride problem.  “that guy’s a snob.  he’s got to have everything perfect.”  but actually perfectionism is a sign of insecurity. in essence only insecure people demand perfectionism from themselves and everybody else.  they're afraid that they might make a mistake. 

It’s not a sin to make a mistake.  sometimes mistakes are ok. they’re beneficial.  columbus discovered america by mistake. goodyear discovered vulcanized rubber by mistake.  alexander graham bell discovered the telephone by mistake.  a lot of mistakes turn out for good.  you don’t always have to bat 1000 [it would be nice if the dodgers would just hit 300 with runners in scoring position but that’s for another day].  when you feel like you’ve got to do that, you put yourself under the burden that paul’s talking about here in galatians 5.1 (niv), it is for freedom CHRIST has set us free.  stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery. 

JESUS said in matthew 11.28-30 (niv), come unto ME all you who are weary and are burdened [you’re burdened down with life] and I will give you rest.  take MY yoke upon you and learn from ME.  HE said, “MY yoke is easy.”

why don’t we do this?  we put the burdens of perfectionism on ourselves.  we try to gain GOD’s approval by our actions.

just a thought from the front porch… 

when we are tough on ourselves…

in looking at perfectionism we see it damages relationships. 

how many of you like to be around somebody that’s correcting you all time?  every time you finish something, they have to go back and redo it.

somebody has said that the definition of a perfectionist is somebody that takes so many pains in his work that he gives you one, too.  we all have this to a varying degree in our lives.  it’s frustrating, irritating, upsetting to everybody. 

in the bible, there were a group of perfectionists – pharisees. they maintained a standard and taught a level of commitment that even they themselves could not reach. 

when we don’t feel accepted, then we don’t accept others.  when we don’t feel forgiven, we don’t forgive others.  when we don’t feel GOD’s grace, we’re not gracious to others.  it ruins relationships.  because we’re tough on ourselves, we’re tough on everybody else at the same time.  perfectionism damages relationships.

just a thought from the front porch…